Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Jules' Rules of Running

After the last few races I have been to, some things have stuck out in my mind that I have developed into a set of rules which kinda of sound like rants- feel free to add your own!
  • If you are smoking near a race I (and most of the other runners) want to punch you in your throat. I find it hard enough to breathe while running so please get your pollutants away from my lungs k thanks.  Nothing against people who smoke at all I have lots of friends who do, they just have enough manners to not smoke by people who are struggling to breathe.
  • If you are a man and choose to wear running tights (especially nude colored ones) please wear shorts so I don't have to see your man bulge. Yes I seriously saw someone wearing nude running tights and (his balls) this weekend. If I wanted to see dudes weenises, its called the internet and its for porn.
  • Please do not put on craploads of hoesauce before a race. Once again its hard enough to breathe, I don't need to be suffocated by your CK ONE knockoff from Walmart. Everyone is going to stink, even you, except you will smell like sweat AND cheap perfume.
  • Don't put jingle bells anywhere on you unless its a jingle bell run.  Really?! Is it necessary for you to jingle all the way home in March- no! Save it for the jingle bell runs!
  • If you are walking, move to the back of the pack at the starting line! I run pretty slow (12ish min miles) so if you are in my way I am passing you like 3 seconds after the start you should realize that maybe you should start at the very back of the pack.

6 comments:

  1. These rules made me laugh! But they are SO true! I can not run fast -at all- but at least I admit that and NEVER try to even start in front. It's embarrassing anyways! Oh and running tights should always have shorts under them and visa versa. neither one is OK alone in my book haha

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  2. I've never been in a race but I totally agree with all of that. I especially love "craploads of hoesauce". NICE!!! haha!!!

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  3. ummm, LOVE. As always. :) I will admit, there was tons of snickering here at the word weenises.. at first I read it as ween-sies and thought that was hysterical in itself... Ahh, I love me some funny penis slang. :)

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  4. Amen amen and amen.

    And we call our Boston Terrier's man parts his weenis...it is a wee penis, ha! Everyone thinks we are nuts!!

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